This blog has been shamefully dead for several months, despite my frequent promises of returning. Suffice to say, I believe I’ve disappointed many people, myself included.
The past year or so has been difficult for me. A down-turned economy means there’s lay-offs everywhere, and the few jobs in my field are seeing fierce competition. I started 2016 off unemployed. got a new job, and ended up having to quit after a few months due to the conditions there. While I was able to get another job straight away, I felt like I was back at the beginning, and that I would never get anywhere. That I had let everyone down.
My writing has suffered. I have not worked on anything personal in months. The inspiration I once received from the Steampunk community I was part of dried up after too many elitist encounters. The manuscript I had written no longer appealed to me. I started to make moves to improve it, but stopped somewhere along the way.
I’ve been living my depression in distractions. Finding ways to write that, while fun for me, are not working to further what I want from life. I just stopped trying.
But in recent months I’ve made a choice. I’ve taken steps to improve my mental health. And I feel they have worked. Slowly, my depression has alleviated. I feel more motivated to do things. I’m applying for more jobs, going out more.
But my writing is still lagging behind, this neglected blog being a testament to my own failure.
I can’t be a failed writer before I’ve even gotten started. If inspiration will not come, I will make it come. I will start here, returning twice a month with more writer’s thoughts and advice for my readers. I will return to my research, to create a more believable world for people to get lost in. I will look back to the things that had inspired me before and see if they can’t do it again.
Most importantly, I will stop hiding.